The opening scene of the 1967 film “The Graduate” features Dustin Hoffman as a recent college grad. He is back at his parent’s home for a party in his honor. A friend of Hoffman’s parents pulls him aside from a conversation about his future to share one word with him. That word is “plastics”. The man explaining this to Hoffman believes himself to be persuasive. The audience can however see from Hoffman’s aloof expression that he’s not interested. Hoffman appears to actually be overwhelmed by all the talk of his future.
Little did I realize how much this scene would foreshadow my own life. That single word of “plastics” affected me greatly when I graduated from Michigan State in 2014.
I only had a few job prospects after graduating and loathed the idea of moving back in with my parents. A college degree with no job to show for it would result in me feeling like a failure. I decided to take the one job offered to me rather than returning home. Thus began my career working for a single use plastics packaging manufacturer. (think foam cups and straws)
I spent the next 6 years climbing the corporate ladder. The work had burnt me out by 2020 and the pandemic was only adding fuel to the fire. I had become a miserable person to be around and I was taking it out on friends and family.
A change was needed, or I risked spending my 30s lonely and angry with the world.
The catalyst for that change occurred the summer prior when I serendipitously walked into a screening of the documentary “Rams”. I went into movie believing it was about the horned animal living in the mountains. The doc instead depicts the life of German designer Dieter Rams. The film portrays 10 principles of design, which spoke to me both intellectually and emotionally. I left the screening with a new found motivation to pursue design further. I however wasn’t quite sure what outlets were available to me, if any.
Much like the rest of the world, I became confined indoors during the spring of 2020 due to the pandemic. This is when I stumbled upon the MPD2 program at Northwestern. The MPD2 degree focuses on product design and development. It appeared to be the answer I was looking for.
Furthering my education at a highly touted university was a main reason for me moving to Chicago. The MPD2 program fit the bill. The curriculum combined my interest in design with business fundamentals while the schedule allowed me to continue working for full time. The best part was that the classes were much more affordable than an MBA. I feared the idea of taking on another round of exuberant college debt.
The university accepted me into the program beginning in the fall of 2020. It surprised me how quickly it all occurred. I went into the application process feeling like I wasn’t fully qualified to attend such a prestigious university as Northwestern. I rationalized my achievement by believing it had more to do with the uncertainties of the pandemic shrinking the applicant pool and less to do with my own talent and experience. My doubts of my own abilities fed into my imposter syndrome.
Entering the MPD2 program, I knew I wanted a fresh start in a different industry once graduating. I had a long list of grievances with my then employer and I was at my wits end. I’m not going to discuss those grievances in detail. I doubt you want to hear it and we all deal with things that bother us at work.
My plan to find a new job after graduation did not come to fruition though.
My then employer offered me a Manager position upon graduation in 2022. I accepted the new position as I wanted to gain people management experience. I didn’t feel that I would get the same opportunity elsewhere. In reality, this was probably just my own insecurity rearing its head yet again. Either way, I had dug my grave to stay and I needed to sleep in it until finding my next opportunity.
It was only 3 months after accepting the promotion that I knew I wanted out. I desired something more meaningful and I just wasn’t getting it from the long work hours. News came out in September 2022 that Dead & Company would be performing their final tour in the summer of 2023. I viewed it as an exit from my predicament. I always wanted to follow a band on a tour and while I never expected it to be the Dead, it seemed like a welcome opportunity. My belief was that taking the trip solo would help instill me with more confidence.
I logged onto the Ticketmaster presale and managed to get tickets for all 27 shows of the tour. The tour would begin in LA then head through the South and to the East coast before making its way back to San Francisco. Most of my seats were nosebleed or inexpensive lawn tickets at outdoor amphitheaters. I was, however, able to snag tickets in the pit for the final shows in San Francisco. Dead & Company did go on to add another night in Boston and San Francisco, which I’ll get into later.
The whole process with Ticketmaster was overly expensive, time consuming, and stressful. This seems to be par for the course and I wish there were better ticketing options.
Suffice to say, I left the ticket purchasing process energized. I finally had an excuse to quit my job of 9 years. My plan was to put my notice in May of 2023, but that would unpredictably come sooner.
In February 2023, I was compelled to leave my job during a department meeting after finally reaching my limits. I felt on top of the world when I exited in the middle of that meeting and placed my 2 weeks notice on my boss’s desk. I thought it was going to be a weight off my shoulders, but instead I felt immense stress and anxiety about my future. Thank God that I had family on the phone and friends in the area to talk me down that night.
I ended up deciding to stay in that job until May 2023. It worked out as it bought me more time to find a new job after the tour. The last months there were tumultuous to say the least and I was happy to call it quits by the end.
My plan was to take initiative by booking rental cars and hotels in the months leading up to May. I instead procrastinated and only ended up booking a rental vehicle for the first leg of the tour. Booking no hotels or campsites would prove to be both a blessing and a curse.
The first leg of the tour consisted of traveling from Chicago to LA then through Phoenix, Dallas, Atlanta, the Carolinas, Virginia, Pittsburg, and St Louis, before getting back to Chicago. I knew it was going to be a long trip. My fears of taking the trip were intensified by my lack of planning, but the unknowns that lay ahead also provided me excitement.
My plan was to camp for portions of the trip to both get back to nature and save money. I managed to get to REI and grab some camping equipment including a sleeping pad,stove, water filter, and other essentials. I was by no means and I’m still not a proficient camper, but I did feel that I had enough skills from a handful of past trips to make it work.
Seeking spontaneity in my travels has been something that I have sought ever since my previously mentioned trip to Texas in 2017. A friend of mine was living in Dallas and I spent the weekend with him before traveling to other parts of the state for the rest of the week. My only plan was a flight out of Dallas the next weekend. I ended up making my way down to Austin then San Antonio.
San Antonio was my favorite memory. I attended a Western Conference semifinals NBA game between the Spurs and the Houston Rockets. The atmosphere of the all Texas matchup was electric. I loved how being on the road forced me to live in the present moment. I avoided disappointment, by not creating high expectations.
I knew that what I experienced on that Texas trip was special and I yearned to be yanked from my too predictable daily work schedule. Although I procrastinated in planning around the Dead tour, I felt that I did so subconsciously. I knew that in order to have the best experience, I needed to avoid getting caught up in having an agenda.
In my next post, I’ll share my first day of leaving for the tour and all the surprises that came with it. I hope you enjoyed this post and keep reading.
